4 posts tagged “dreams”

Wow, it really has been a while since I've written something here. I've been more active elsewhere, like on MySpace and my favorite forum ever: Hevoset.com. I have just written down some dreams I've had at night, but I don't write them down as much as I used to. Only the most interesting ones.

There have been a few changes in my life (and will be more in the near future). I started dating my current boyfriend; we've been together since April 17. The summer holiday started and I never have to go back to that school again - in the fall I will start my new life in a new school. I will also move to my first own appartment.
I think I'm living a very interesting era in my life and I'm really looking forward to moving and going to the new school and all that stuff.

I just gotta say... YEEEEEAAAHH!! On Friday I was so sad and angry and desperate because I didn't succeed with my playing (guitar is the instrument that I'm talking about) and I seriously though about quitting, but yesterday and earlier today I decided to practice, not very hard, though. A moment ago I tried to play the solo of Back to the Cave and a part that I hadn't gotten right before, but though I hadn't even played the whole song in ages, I got that part right. You can't imagine how I felt: I was and am sure it was a sign for making the right decision, which was to continue practising.
And why I'm so crazy about this is because to me playing the guitar doesn't mean that I just play the guitar, 'cause it's fun and what I like to do, it means the world to me. I have to become a successful artist, because I'm so ambitious. And the reason why I'm so ambitious is that I have to show all these idiots here that they were wrong by saying that I would never become a rockstar. It's my dream and I will f-in' make it come true! And the fact that they treat me like shit makes me want to try even harder.
I know there is gonna be a whole lot of frustration and fighting against myself before I become as good as I want to be (if there is such a thing, I'm a perfectionist and it's never enough to be good, I gotta be better), but what happened today showed me that's it's worth it all.

Thank you.
I apologize some possible typos, I'm so happy right now that I just don't happen to care that much.

One thing I would never hand over to anyone else are the dreams I have at night. I started writing them down in February 2008 and since then they have gotten so much more interesting, longer and clear, and I remember them much more easily. Some of them have actually taught me something and grown me as a person.
My dreams inspire me. I would sometimes like to paint something that I've seen in a dream, but I don't know could I actually do it. I'm gonna try anyway.

Lately I have written some of my dreams here, 'cause my better computer, where my dream diary is, is broken, but they are in Finnish and hidden.

What's your New Year's resolution for 2009? How did you do with 2008's?

I don't really have a specific resolution for 2009, I just decided, or actually knew, that I would try to live my life a bit more again. I got a taste of it in 2008 already. If I'm patient, I will live the life of my dreams someday.