11 posts tagged “life”

My life is a mess. Just on Thursday I was the happiest person in the world - full of excitement and the joy of waiting, but in Friday evening everything changed. Why did these people have to get involved with those things in the first place? I don't know who's telling the truth and who's lying or who's changing the story just a little bit and who's being provocative.
What I know is I don't want to loose this person. He is so important to me. It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you. I can promise that.

Getting away from the former school of mine was one of the greatest things ever happened to me. I don't know how I should feel now... On some level I'm probably going to miss my schoolmates, but there's no reason to: I will see them in 10 years anyway. And they are gonna see me a lot, I can sweare that.

I've spent nine years of my life going to that school, where I never felt good. There was always something that made my life bad. Now that I've got rid of it, I don't know what to do or how to live. It's like a relationship where the other person tells you how to dress up and do your hair and how to be. And now that it's gone I'm kind of lost. But I know I will find my way again, I always do.

I hope the new school is a better place and the people are more grown up.

Wow, it really has been a while since I've written something here. I've been more active elsewhere, like on MySpace and my favorite forum ever: Hevoset.com. I have just written down some dreams I've had at night, but I don't write them down as much as I used to. Only the most interesting ones.

There have been a few changes in my life (and will be more in the near future). I started dating my current boyfriend; we've been together since April 17. The summer holiday started and I never have to go back to that school again - in the fall I will start my new life in a new school. I will also move to my first own appartment.
I think I'm living a very interesting era in my life and I'm really looking forward to moving and going to the new school and all that stuff.

What's your New Year's resolution for 2009? How did you do with 2008's?

I don't really have a specific resolution for 2009, I just decided, or actually knew, that I would try to live my life a bit more again. I got a taste of it in 2008 already. If I'm patient, I will live the life of my dreams someday.

The year is almost over and I thought I could revise some things that have happened to me during 2008.

First of all... In March, April and May I made my biggest mistake so far, and almost repeated it in autumn, not that badly though. In March I also realized, what reality actually was, and I started feeling a lot better and my life became much easier, thanks to one single photo (OHIRE = OMG he is real-experience).
During that time I also started this blog, which is my second blog in English. And so far the best. This is actually the best blog I've ever had.

In June I saw the Scorpions live for the second time in my life. And James Kottak communicated with me. June the 7th, 2008 is easily the best day of my life (among one other day). That day I also got Sebastian Bach's autograph, he was sitting right in front of me, so close that I was afraid I was going to hit him in the head. I also shook hands with his bass player, Rob de Luca.
In June I also had my birthday and after that I haven't felt so young anymore. I guess this is the time when you actually start getting older.

In July I saw the Scorpions live again, and blacked out in the front row. A couple of men dragged me away from the tent, but I managed to get back where I was in the front row. I was also a VIP. That day I was supposed to make one of my dreams come true, but an important person I would have needed wasn't there, so I failed with my mission.

The rest of the year has been full of different kind of things and feelings, people have been nice and mean, things have happened and it has been boring, too. In November a long-time bully of mine apologized me for the first time after throwing a piece of pie into my hair, but I think it didn't make much of a change.

And of course my English has gotten a lot better again, I can use it more and more.

2008 hasn't obviously been the easiest year in any way, but I think it took me a lot closer to what actually is my life.

This is one of the big questions that I've been happy to think about without the fear of just losing it.

I have done some serious thinking about reincarnation, metempsychosis and things like that. Now I can actually say that I've found my opinion when it comes to this. According to my way of thinking, your soul moves to another body and brings something with it - features like open-mindedness and so on. Features that people, who are "old souls", have. Some kind of mysterious, subliminal wisdom that they have, and an ability to maybe connect easier with some other world or something. You either know very well, or you have no idea what I'm talking about.

I'm pretty sure I was a German before this life (especially in the late 80's / early 90's). That would explain many things. And during the 1800's I have lived in the wild West.

Have a great 53rd birthday, Matthias!

So... This man is something that has changed my life completely. He has given me an ideal of a human, which, I think, is not going to change during my lifetime. And it's not a bad thing at all, after all I've got a very good taste for almost everything...!

I failed! And realized that I should have done everything in June. Well, there's nothing I can do. At least I've got one extra year to get ready now!
Anyway, I'm so young! Too young to think about the rest of my life.

What is the biggest lie you've told?

Oh Jesus. I've told so many lies in my life that once I even started believing them, which scared me a bit. After that I promised to myself not to tell anymore lies to anyone and I've done pretty good job with my promise. In other words, I don't lie to people anymore. But everyone must understand that sometimes you just have to lie. Sometimes things can get worse because of the truth. And sometimes you want to protect someone.

I don't know what is the biggest lie I've told, 'cause I don't want to think about them. I've learned my lesson.

What is your legacy?

Knowledge - or more like wisdom. That kind of things that you mostly need to learn by living and thinking - a lot. The most of those things you need to realize by yourself, but I could help people to learn to make trips to their mind. And after I've had my children, I want to tell people how to raise their kids, I mean the way I was raised and I want to raise my kids, 'cause I think my mom has raised me well and I want to be able to raise my kids as well as she raised me. Of course my mother made some mistakes, but I know what they are and I'm going to try to avoid them in the future.